coming out, not copping out

I imagine the feeling I get when admitting out loud that I want to work in film is somewhat similar to coming out of the closet.

I hear that it's not uncommon for gay people to tell friends and family that they're 'bi' first, to ease them into the idea. Which is kind of what I've done in the past, except 'media rep' has always masked my true desire to become a filmmaker.

Well, I'm over it. I'm in my third year of my degree now and I've basically thrown caution to the wind, finally allowing the eternal filmgeek within me to surface without feeling an inexplicable need to silence it.

I guess it's more of an insecurity issue than anything else. The moment you define your destiny - everything changes... And the sheer, fickle competitiveness of the industry, especially within Australia, is enough to shoot down anyone's meagre hopes of big screen success. However, it has been pointed out to me that that alone is not a sufficient reason to abandon my life dreams altogether, and 'copping out' at this point would be perfectly inexcusable on those grounds.

So. 'Ere I am. Enrolled in TV1 and utterly, utterly in love with the content and everything to do with it. This blog is going to be pretty discursive - and, at times I expect, self-deprecating. I really want to make the most out of this course though. I mean, it's pretty much gonna suck if I fail...!