tail wind's a long way off

Tomorrow we begin filming for Lenny.
I'm rather apprehensive about this, because last night's meeting revolved around tieing up loose ends with our drama script (we ended up choosing Potato Cakes, YESS!) rather than getting a storyboard together for tomorrrow. So with any luck we won't fail and will hopefully be able to shoot as per the notes we made in class last week... Only problem is, Jen isn't going to be around for the next few pracs and I've MISPLACED my TV1 notebook. I don't think this semester could be any more of a shambles if it tried... and I have a feeling this head wind won't subside anytime soon... argh.

Despite my best efforts to become more of a presence in this so-called 'group' project, I've pretty much landed the most minor role possible: Production Design. I'm not going to pretend to be happy with this, but seeing as the decision had been made prior to my consultation, there's not exactly a lot of choice. Yeah, I'm annoyed that my talent and enthusiasm aren't going to be utilised to their full extent. But at the same time, I'm too over this project to really let it get to me. What started out as the highlight of my year has quickly become the biggest anti-climax... I don't know if it's the way these classes are structured or what, but lately all I seem to be feeling is either completely petrified about filming or totally out of place in all my non-media degree glory.

It's probably not a good idea to be going on about this here, so I'll just put a lid on it for now. On the plus side, nothing can affect my love for this medium, so I know I'll always put 110% into anything with my name attached to it. I guess I just wanted my last year of undergrad to stand for more, you know? I wanted to push my own limits and capabilities and take complete ownership of something, like I did with Broadcast, but it doesn't look like I'm going to get that chance. I guess all there really is left to focus on is honing my own skills and understanding to try and get as much out of this as I can. I want to walk into next semester with the confidence to assert my beliefs... Just got to pull through this first.